5. The Isle of Islay

Fresh off the ferry and after a 2 mile hike, I arrived at the distillery. I was immediately supplied with a dram of Caol Ila's finest to chase the ales I had been quaffing. I'm not a whiskey person but have to admit that those I sampled there were bloody lovely.

The next few days were uneventful, in an eventful sort of way. The highlight had to be the annual cattle market which I was fortunate enough to be on the island to experience. It was an unofficial bank holiday; the whole island stopped work and was in attendance. There was horse riding; a million litres of sun; sheep shearing; bag pipes and stalls peddling various wares. And beer. As a result I was getting pretty drunk and sunburned around midafternoon. I helped the folk of the gaelic college I had been sat with to depitch their unnecessarily massive tent. Then when everything was piled into a car there were a surplus of two of the girl's bikes, so I helpfully volunteered to ride one back to Bowmore.
I'm not sure if it was the beer, the sun, or the lack of ever having owned a woman's bike - but I was oblivious to the fact that I had left the stand down as I tried to cycle off in front pub garden filled with locals, scraping and grinding along in the gravel. I stopped wondering what the racket was. I then  attempted to raise the stand, but for some reason this a completely impossible task. Eventually some of the pub's patrons hopped over to help a poor English drunkard, who was apparently unused to their Scottish alcohol and bicycles. One of them jokingly wondered if it actually was mine to take. I finally managed to get the thing sorted and went off, the people of the pub wishing me a safe journey, with an air of genuine concern that I might kill myself.

I didn't.

Other than the cattle market, I can describe my (and probably a typical) stay on the island into a list of things I learned:

•  The locals are quite friendly. For example you wont feel like you'll be beaten up when they discover that you aren't Scottish (unlike some massive cities I might mention on the Clyde)
• It is law that you must wave to anyone you pass, be it on foot or on a bike or car *
• Being in a Hebride, Scottish Gallic is spoken by some on the island. You'll see it written here and there too like some kind of crazy spider gibberish. (Unless you speak it, that is, then presumably it will mean things)
• Locks are outlawed *
• Islay isn't pronounced "I lay" but "I luh".
• The island boasts 6 whiskey distilleries, and is known as the isle of malts.
• My sunny stay was unusual. The island normally favours lovers of the cold, the wind and the rain. Midges will abound when it's warm and the wind is low. For some reason I was immune to their attention. I will admit I found this to be a little hurtful

* This apparently isn't an actual law, but I had just assumed it was