Circle Sim

During a clean up of all the old trash that has become scattered everywhere I discovered a copy of and old game I made that quickly became an internet sensation: circle sim.

Download and have it for free! Circle Sim Download. Install instructions are in there but it’s basically just a zip file. Doesn’t even need to install or anything its so damn advanced. [edit: dont know where this file is anymore, but if you want to know then ask and i'll try to find it harder]

Now you too can experience the mind blowing excitement of being a 3d circle, slowly rotating in an endless blue void!

Far more futuristic, advanced and immersive than it’s 2d predecessor: square sim

Hope you enjoy!

The alternative Wednesday night film review – Part 1

Posted April 8th, 2011 by Rich

Every Wednesday for the last few years have been hassle free , action packed, fun filled affairs complete with plenty of girls, booze and adventure. Recently these things have increasingly been experienced vicariously through the medium of film.



That is not to say my life is currently devoid of action, fun, booze or girls though. So you can wipe that smirk off your face, you.
Ask any of my friends and they will all tell you that if my middle name had been given to me later in life, it would doubtless have been girls-action-fun-booze.



also my first name would have been victory and my surname would have also been victory.



But my parents weren’t to have known that back when I was born because I was just a rubbish baby at the time.



Anyhoo – that is a little of the background to the legend of the Wednesday night. It also has a large amount of associated lore, like if you dont touch your nose in time, you might have to phone a foreigner and ask them to bring you food. But I will spare you the details. Suffice to say these days we have taken to watch a ‘classic’ film and drink.



Last Wednesday, in an effort to avoid procrastinating too much on what classic film to watch, we decided to just write some down (a film that also someone hadn’t seen and someone seconded adding to the list). We decided to write 52. which for those math / calendar buffs amongst you will correctly calculate as a years worth of films.



This week, the number 17 was randomly drawn from a hat* and it turned out to be…


Waterworld

An idea that I came up with entirely by myself using my brain* was to review some of the films.

So without further-a-putting-the-title-in-the-wrong-place-because-it-seemed-appropriate-for-dramatic-effect-at-the-time….
Waterworld

It is a fairly brilliant documentary about this fish that mutates into a man in order to steal women.

There is this villain in it, who has managed to find a big rusty boat populated by homeless people. He has tricked his new minions into doing water sports in order to jump jet skis into floating towns and generally shoot at things for no real reason.

It turns out that the hero falls in love with this women and a girl he has stolen, and takes them to a bit of land that some crack-pot scientist suddenly figures out the location of, using a tattoo on the girl (even though he lived with the girl for ages).

When fish-man and co. get to the island fish man leaves again because he hears some birds.

Oh also the whole of earth is covered in water – so that is why the land things was noteworthy. Also it’s the future.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone who enjoys films about the survival efforts of the inhabitants of planets that are entirely covered in water/liquid.



* Brain of Mr Awesomedude

Spotify

I recently decided to listen to a band the kids are currently listening to. Using a music player the kids are currently using. So I rushed off to the shops to buy ‘spotify’ for my computer. The guy there hadn’t heard of it – so I had to use an Internet the kids are all using…

Turns out though its some kind of secret club that you can only become a part of if you know someone who already has it, that will let you in. Like the masons or something.

Anyway I took the easy route and bought my way in with monies. Pretty good all in all – but I noticed that it’s musical recommendation leave something to be desired…

Here’s one for the music fans – click the pic to read the words

Well if you know who pendulum are, or any of those other people underlined are then you might see my issues here.

good service otherwise! go get it if you can. Its only available in awesome countries though. You also have to be awesome to install it.

There is a questionnaire and everything.

Download 2009

I have been assigned some summer holiday homework to record what happened to me at the download festival, from which I have recently returned / recovered. So here it is! Mostly for the benefit of me, and possibly a couple of people who may be vaguely interested. It is completely unabridged, apart from the bits that my brain chemically abridged without my consent.

Friday: Everyone was in high spirits and looking forward to the weekend. We would all be sat beneath (at least) a tent and a bag each on the way up, and given our positive mood this would prove fairly amusing. However despite being a comparatively fast journey, as we would be arriving very late, it would still be taking over 4 hours. Here is a diagram demonstrating the logistical dilemma:

Having 10 odd kilograms on our cramped knees would soon loose its novelty value, I thought. So the cunning solution to consume beer soon presented itself. We travelled north into the night and the weather steadily worsened, and we steadily drunkened.

Arriving in the middle of the night had the benefit of having nobody else arriving so getting to the site was more relaxing, however there was also the downside that nobody else was arriving which meant we weren’t entirely sure on which way to go. This lead to about an extra hour of lost time wandering about in a car park in the rain, slightly tipsy with horrendous amounts of luggage tied to ourselves.

I made a map of how to get to the site should i go again and they adopt a similar layout:

Thursday (midnight): The site itself, thankfully, was much quieter than one might expect of a festival. Partly due to the rain, and partly as it had only been open for 12 hours, but in any case we made contact with some friends who had already arrived so we could all pitch together. From then until Friday our area filled with friends and acquaintances until it was unusually expansive little ‘love in’ given how busy the site quickly became. The next day we had a barbeque which was lovely aside from that we had NO FUCKING TOMATOE SAUCE. I anger quickly when deprived of condiments.

Friday: the first day of music had arrived! Up at about 7 for a delicious liquid breakfast, and after a short while took a stroll* down to the arena. The weather had become much finer, and it really stayed bloody sunny the whole weekend. We festival goers were enjoying it all in our droves:

download 2009 crowd

Once there I had a bit of an explore* of the various tents seeing a few interesting new bands I may be checking out more of, particularly sylosis. However for the most part I was having a wander*, or drinking on a hill watching such acts as Opeth, Limp Bizkit and Faith No More. Limb Bizkit were surprisingly entertaining. Fred invited one fan near the front to join him on stage and dance about with him, even singing some of one song (arguably better than Fred himself). The evening was a standard affair of heavy alcohol consumption. I remember taking a walk* through the shouting crowds and was seeing folks being carried, vomiting through the throng to the nearest bush, and passing grimy cubicle blocks that already reeked of excrement and I wondered: This might be a little bit what hell is like. But I was drunk, and had become lost so found the whole experience quite amusing in a “well, it’s all a part of the rich tapestry of life” kind of a way you may get when you cease to care about things.

Saturday: Started out fairly quietly with a few pints at dawn, then once again off to the metal. Very happy to see static x who did an excellent set, and devil driver who once again (apparently) attempted to break the record for the world’s largest mosh pit. Here is a video of their attempt.

I didn’t go down to join in, and looked like a wise decision as a friend who did go in for it later came back with a cracked rib, but a part of me wished I had. After this there was an extended ‘vague time’ of which I remember little. However I lost my t-shirt I had been instructed not forget to bring on pain of death. This was during my time crushed to the front row of the prodigy (who I think I enjoyed immensely). Here is a picture from earlier happily sporting the garment in a very heterosexual way:

humor thsirts

Obviously I was a little upset by my careless loss, but this was not captured at the time. Here is a picture of someone else we were with looking upset on my behalf (possibly):

Sunday: was comparatively quiet. Actually that is a lie, everyone was still hitting the booze hard. It had been dubbed ‘whiskey sunday’ so proceeded with most of us drinking copious amounts of whiskey to chase our beer. As the day became more blurry, it seemed that every time someone announced “WHISKEY SUNDAY!!!” (and later: “WHISKEY MONDAY!!!”) someone would produce a bottle of whiskey or bourbon and force everyone to chug some. Quite a lazy drinking game perhaps, but still served to unite and intoxicate all involved. I was highly anticipating Dream Theater and Clutch, and they both certainly delivered the goods. Def Leppard headlined and I think they were pretty good, although I can’t be entirely certain.

The drive back was much more relaxed as we had eaten and drunk most of our luggage (the edible parts I mean!) so there was much random reminiscences, falling asleep and complaining of feeling like death. But we were all very happy about how well the weekend had turned out.

download 2009 stage

* Drunken stagger

Obama Facts

I keep finding sites in my cyber travels that inform me of various facts about Mr Barack Obama. Well given the matter some extensive research I am now able to offer you, the streetwise reader with this (abridged) list of 10 Obama facts that are 100% OF FACT

all the FACTS are definitely guaranteed, and will make you the life and soul of any party. As long as the people you tell them to are particularly dim, or are from Bristol or something.

1. Obama’s most prize possession is his signed Christopher Eccleston photograph, which he keeps under his pillow every night

2. Obama’s favourite band is Iron Maiden, he owns all of their albums

3. Obama boasts a collection of 209 Doctor Who figurines, all of Christopher Eccleston. His obsession with Eccleston stretches to having posters in the Oval office of 28 days later and Shallow Grave; in which Eccelston boasts lead roles.

4. To date Obama’s greatest achievement since gaining office is having introduced America’s only website: Red hot XXX Barack action. He is known to be pleased with the alliteration in the name

5. Barack Obama is a huge fan of the Star Wars franchise and hopes to retire to Endor and become an ewok

6. Obama’s meteoric rise in politic is thanks to earning early fame with his number one smash: I walk the line. He spent many years battling drug abuse, and fighting depression from having neglected to save his brother from sawing himself in half in a lumber yard; an accident for which his father still hasn’t forgiven him.

7. Obama controversially prefers vanilla ice-cream over chocolate

8. Obama has tried most drugs, and claims that his favourite is cocaine because of its notorious ‘buzz’

9. When running for president Barack became extremely nervous and ate only Mexican food. He gained over 250 pounds (18 stone) due to his unhealthy eating habits. Once learning of his victory he immediately scheduled liposuction surgery to appear healthy to the press.

10. Obama is often mistakenly thought to come from Hawaii, in actuality he was the first man to settle the island after its discovery in 1984. He was born and raised in Tokyo

Stumbleupon Classic

Stumbleupon Has Come A Long Way!

Games Can Change Your Life

a lot of people might say that video games are a waste of time, and that little of value comes from them. Well aside from all the hopeful scientific research that claims that it increases awareness or some bollocks, I think occasionally it does have a very real impact on your life. Well one did for me.

for example when I saw the game guitar hero, I vowed that I would never spend time mastering a game like that. The reason being that I have been on and off playing guitar for a number of years, and would feel better playing the real guitar instead!

One hung-over Saturday morning however, my housemate buys the game… and predictably I play it, and get a little hooked. I even got to a respectable standard on a few songs.

Here is me playing raining blood by Slayer:

But one day I casted it aside! no more! I thought, purchased a new guitar* and began to practice.

Here is a picture of me practicing:

I feel much better about it. But recently wondered why a desire to not want to waste time mastering a game, but do it for real was only limited to guitar hero?

I have played a lot of GTA. perhaps I should have stopped wasting my time and take my criminal ways to the streets! After all you start off with less money in that game than I have now… What about counter strike? I think maybe I should join up with some terrorists as a part of my new Grand Theft Auto style lifestyle.

Obviously I don’t get do-overs, saves and things like that, but then I have already had a lot of practice at the games so I wont need them, right?

If there are no more posts on this blog you can rest assured that I have finally realised my dream of forcing fantasy into reality.

* Every time I had been poor up until now my guitar had been turned into food with the cunning use of ebay

Thug Mask Prank

Some things make you chuckle and simultaneously crap your pants

Recently sat in the office minding my own business, looking at some porn work when some wierd looking guy marches in saying they have a delivery for someone.

When that person is identified he marches over and throws the box in their face, shouting and being generally abusive. This person gets out of his chair and is backing away with a small wet patch appearing between their legs… considering writing about it in their blog later… I imagine… err – obviously it wasn’t me… LOL! I’m far too tough to cower…

anyway:

Turns out he was wearing a mask, the dude used to work with the company. A hilarious prank!!
Laughter and blushes ensue.

Here is a similar one, v funny:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A3OmtaZrV0

More thoughts on certain employment with NASA

So I have heard nothing back from NASA following my post  on employment tips for becoming employed by NASA. So I did a little extra research and it seems that far from being simply a case of having an awesome CV / resume you need to be all brainy and that.

I have done some limited research into the matter and except for these, didn’t find any stats on who works at NASA, but I do know that they have a diversity policy (http://www.nasa.gov/centers/glenn/pdf/148462main_NASA_Diversity_Policy111.pdf); and considering that they have only sent up 1 or 2 british people consider this to be another string to my bow!*


    Dear NASA,

    I recently sent you my details and
    have heard nothing back from you, so am just sending a chaser to get your
    thoughts. Having done a little research I find that you consider diversity in
    your workforce of value - and having extensive knowledge of TEH INTERNET,
    and loads of other stuff feel that my skills will be of great value to you.
    Honestly I don't mind if you have a problem or whatever, I can always try
    the European Space Agency or something... But I'm pretty sure they are all
    a bunch of failures compared to you guys haha lol ;)

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    Yours sincerely

    Rich

* Since when is adding a string to your bow a valid metaphor? Is the bow a violin or an archer’s bow? In either case I don’t see people who use these things adding hundreds of extra strings to try and out-do the competition! madness.

I am guilty of insect genocide on a massive scale – reincarnation better be false

Perhaps it’s symptomatic of living in a city, divorced from the tranquil nature infested quagmire that is the countryside, but I have become irrationally enraged by infestations of some of god’s tinier and more annoying creations.

At work there has been an unending supply of little midges in the office for ages. They mostly enjoy spending their day madly wobbling about in the air directly in front of my face as I try to work, and as soon as I have managed to waft it away (by crazily flailing my arms about) another one will madly wobble over.  Two of my friend houses have become the new residences of some delightful blood sucking parasites called bed bugs. These little guys are nts, which I found out when I stayed in one of the flats and woke to find bites all over me. I felt violated, raped even. blood raped. Now even my home isn’t safe as we have been befriended by an infestation of fruit flies. They mostly enjoy sneaking onto plates obscured by other dirty dishes, or into empty beer tins, and then scaring the crap out of me when I finally get round to cleaning up when I’m hungover.

I was today reminiscing fondly of my days at school, where a project in biology was to study some fruit flies by examining the colouration on certain ones after they had been having sex parties all over a mouldy apple. Can’t remember what for – something to do with DNA I’m sure. When the time came to examine them we had to put a little “fruit fly sleepy go snooze” on them so the little fellows dropped of into to dreamytowne and then we could find out what colour they were whilst they had little dreams about mouldy fruit. Now what thanks do I get for my naive benevolence they come round my house and have sex parties all over my empty beer cans and dirty plates.

Maybe I should lighten up and welcome my fellow creatures with open arms, instead of denying our ultimately common ancestry. But then I have long since abandoned the idea that I am some sort of cosmopolitan liberal hippy type like back in student days… So really the school system should be there to teach me fundimental skills I will use in later life, like how to mass murder insects instead of how to get them to sleep

p.s. Sorry that there is no pest control advice here if that is how you found this.

I sometimes watch some noisy shows on full volume at 4am when drunk… If it bothers you – people that live near me please tell me like below and not with a note under the door like you did yesterday.

I noticed this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/sussex/7561166.stm

How would you brooch a subject to someone that they are enjoying sex… a little too much?

Here. Let me imagine a scene so you don’t have to bother:

    Me: knock knock…

    Randy McShagalot: A hello there neighbour! here for another cup of sugar?** =)

    Me: Ah no… I couldn’t help notice last night that you were loudly screwing for an hour or so =|

    Randy McShagalot: LOL! you heard that? oh well. we’re all human right? I mean, you don’t have a go at loud dustbin men do you? =D

    Me: Well I might if I wasn’t scared of… It doesn’t matter =V

    Randy McShagalot: … ***

    Me: Frankly It has to stop woman! I was just trying to watch an episode of good old wildlife-on-one last night… and found it inappropriately arousing, now I have sexual feelings toward rhino’s. Down with this sort of thing o_o

You see? Completely embarrassing. I don’t think there is any way you can tell a random stranger *v to not do things that is a fundimental function of all life.

It’s like having a go at an old biddy for crapping too noisily.

* You better be reading this or I am so leaving a note under your door later.

** This week is the first after last weeks weg post about how we should all use ‘iconemotes’ to show, via the medium of text characters or ‘icons’ what we are doing with our faces at the time… because as I am behind a large barrier of wires and routers *v so it would be impossible to tell.

*** no iconemote here. she’s probably doing the same one as before

*v except to you – people that know me. high five!

The dark knight, Bioshock, Iconemotes and… explosions

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But I would like to point out a comment on metacritic to the newest Batman movie:
colin C gave it a 0:
Under normal circumstances this movie might get a two or three, but given all the bloated praise it’s gotten elsewhere I think the zero is warranted. It’s way too long, way too self-serious, and often makes little sense. My girlfriend and I were close to walking out because by the end we were exhausted by all the explosions, heavy-handed dialogue and thudding, stupid music. Batman Begins was fun, but this is just a loud, pretentious bore.
…
“All the explosions” – he says like its a bad thing.
I am currently doing an aghast face. I had to say that because you can’t see my face, I also wrote this in the past and may be wearing a different expression now. maybe I should have simply drawn my face using letters to form some sort of ‘emotional icon’ or ‘iconemote’
It may have gone something like this
Do8
you live and learn. I shall iconemote more often now to cut down on babbling and suggest you all do the same in your own web blogs or ‘wegs’
OGC
(that is a small man, standing raising his fist in readiness to iconemote more in his weg)
Back to the point: I have been recently enjoying Bioshock which is great! But people had similarly attacked it, based solely on the fact that it is brilliant and reviewers without fail said so too.
There appears to be some hidden joy in taking a negative standpoint simply because it will be clear evidence that you have a ‘mind of your own’ and such. Well for some reason I take personal offense to this and it makes me do a frowny face. much like this:
):>(
Next week: Will the punarama weg ever actually have a pun in it? This Wegger thinks no
epilogue:
I just remembered that iconemote came up in a conversation between me and a friend – just wanted to mention that it in case it wasn’t my idea – but his, and I have simply remembered. don’t want to get sued or anything

Condensed History The Hundered Years War

I was reading about the hundred years war today because I relised how little I know about it and how historian types are always banging on about it. So to save you the bother I condensed it down for you here:
1337:

Edward III (England) Hai fellow French doods. you noes how ur royal line is ded? I am totly teh king of England & France now too!  kthx
Philip uhms… nowai: I is king. war ahoy!
Edward III lol look at the year
Philip lol

France Get England!!!
england Noooooooo. Get France!
France Nooooooo.

1360:

England truce?
France k

1369:

Charles V (France) Edward
Edward III ?
Charles V how come you didn’t observe that truce you negociated?
Edward III wut?
Charles V attack!
England

1377:

Edward III wups- ahm ded

1389:

France Not much warring going on doods… tbh we’re not too sure who’s in charge in France – can u halp? u can has this land u wanted
England noes. Scotland is giving us grief, and we’re not sure who’s in charge here either lol!

1415:

Henry V (england) k guys turns out i’m in charge
France yay! halps?
England nowai! Attack!

(battle of Agincort – France fail)

France

1420:

Charles VI ‘The Mad’ (france) Henry, I reckon ur kids should get the French throne, mine all suck donkey balls
Henry V sweet.
Random Scottish army attack!
English army piss

1422:

Henry V onoez I’m ded
England woop! Henry VI – ur king! how do you feel?
Henry VI I’m only 8 months old and don’t know how to talk to you yet
England lol o yeah. Well at least he’s in charge of France now. Phew! war over ^^ k lets all go home & have a lovely snooze to celebrate
France wut? nowai!
England drat! and we would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you pesky French
France lol

1429:

joan-of-arc I had a chat with god, turns out I’m great – and we reckon i can kick ass
France Go for it. break the seige at orleans then
England arr! we lose
France Nice one!
Charles VII (France) yay! I get to be king now
john Talbot (England) we’s gonna win still. sok!!! kapow!!!
France Quit it!

1453:

(Battle of Formigny & Castillon – England Fail)

England fine ok

Next week: How would elmo from sesame street summarise the rise of communism in Russia in under 100 words?

10 Top Tips for Certain Employment at NASA

I recently was given the opportunity to apply to be an astronaut at NASA. That is – on a whim I found where to submit an application to be an astronaut and sent them my cv (or resume).

As such I would say I am pretty much an expert at it now, and thought I should share my wealth of space knowledge with all you budding astromen and women.

10 top tips:

    Where your interests are listed, put ’space’ and ‘being an astronaut’

    You must be in the peak of physical fitness to float about in space ships - so it may be useful to impress the reader with one of your feats of physical prowess. Under my achievements I put that I am able to jump a staggering 21 times before needing a shower.

    Underline your name at the top. Your name will then stick in their memories when they are choosing who they will get in to run their space stuff.

    Your space employers can be very fussy about who they choose – so be sure to sound very clever by using long words such as satanistic, garrotted or diarrhoea

    You may be required to work with others. Show your space popularity by listing how many friends you have. Personally I put both of their names in case they wanted to check.

    Annotate with space ships, stars, robots, aliens and other futuristic imagery. You will show yourself to have a good familiarity of all the things you will be dealing with on a day to day basis

    Many people would advise the use of a word processor and spell check or proof reading for an important document like this. Not true. At NASA a character trait that is prized is assertiveness, and decisiveness. Therefore feel free to write in whatever medium you think best: computer, handwritten or annotated painting. So long as you seem sure of your decision you will be on your way to Caprica in no time!

    Write that NASA is awesome in very tiny lettering throughout. This is a well known and effective subliminal messaging technique which is sure to create a positive impression

    You must include a picture of yourself. I chose to prove my dedication by superimposing my own face onto that of an astronaut using futuristic image editing methods which are probably beyond most of your capabilities, so I recommend simply using a passport photo.

    It is necessary to mention that you will be comfortable defecating in your space suit as most people don't realise that you are allowed to (actually it is the main reason for my initial application)

I include a scanned photo of my monitor with my cv on it so you can get an idea of how to lay out your document. I would wish you luck but follow these tips and you certainly won't need it!

See you in space.

Bank Holiday

I am mourning the passing of the last UK bank holiday till august. Going to work everyday leaves you with a strange joy when you get an extra day of weekend… a day which is the precious gift of society to me.

Thanks society! You’re the best.

We can use the day or waste it at our leisure. For many it is a time to enjoy some extra time with the family; for others an opportunity to sleep off a particularly bad hangover. For me something sinister happens in my brain which makes me think things like: Hey lets sit in the same place for a few hours! Quick, find and watch all of season two of prison break right stat now!

And so my extra day off has me locked in a dim room, watching Michael Schofield and friends getting arrested twice an episode, beaten up, escaping and generally looking pissed off all the time. Brilliant.

Here is a picture of me wasting my time off:

Evening smacks me round the face and I feel slightly saddened that I hadn’t created some masterpiece, or started work on that thing (I’m not sure what it is but am sure I have the ability to come up with) which will make me a bucket load of cash. What was that thing again? oh well forget it… pasta time!

On the upside I found out about two new bands which I will definitely be buying more of the hourly radio and the long winters. Got me back into indy slightly – wahey

On second thought it totally wasn’t wasted time because now I know how to escape from prison and you don’t. In fact I have seen over 4 things about escaping from jail so Iam pretty much an expert at it now.

Humerous Shop Names

I was recently reminded of a great Mitchell and Webb sketch which features a meeting of people setting up a new laundromat business – trying to decide on a name for their shop, and come up with the name ‘touching cloth‘. Of course then they soon have an inkling that it it could have a different meaning in a sort of hilariously perplexed way which they carry off so well.

Also, doing a little research of my own it would seem that the only people that attempt to insert humor into the names of their shop end up using some deadful pun or other:

It would seem the ruder the phrase – the more hilarious it becomes when you think about an actual shop which might sell such things. For example suppliers of rack mounts for servers and other storage, call your shop ‘great rack’. Glass blowers: ‘blow job’. The list is endless.

I suppose the idea is that your potential customer will be bent double with laughter – and just have to see the merchandise that a shop with such a hilarious title has to offer. Then they will rush off to tell everyone they know how witty and fun the shop is they just saw… rather than think: what a tacky, gimicky name let’s hate anyone that even looks at that shop from now on – and then go somewhere proper that doesn’t look like it’s run by middle aged humorless fuckwits.

Lets hope that is the case.

Thinking about it I guess I am hoping for a bit much that the name of a shop will invoke such an extreme emotional response in anyone. I used to live near a fish and chip shop called the codfather and the best response that I recieved from anyone on hearing the name would be a small ‘heh’; which is the conversational equivalent of ‘I couldn’t care less’

Beaches and a sophisticated graph

I wanted to briefly write about beaches, which I have decided are quite nice. I don’t think I have developed enough maturity to just sit and bask in the niceness… For example on a sandy beach I will be propted to dig, or bury parts of myself . On a stony beach it is mandatory to chuck stones at any non-beach related object in sight (assuming it is not other people). I even did one of those trendy graphs to explain this, in case my words had for some reason been written in a way only comprehensable to myself:

I should be some high-flying marketing consultant with graph creating abilities like that

Comic

I know this is an old joke but I wanted to do a strip for it :)

Look Kids! It’s The X Men!

My new hobby: Wherever there is an X, it can simply be replaced with eggs instead, for sidesplittingly hilarious* results.

For example: Leona Lewis won the UK eggs factor last year. THATS EGGSTREME!!! I think that she is an Eggselent singer!

So without further ado, I give you… The Eggs Men!

*Depends heavily on your definition of hilarious, sidesplittingly and to a lesser eggstent: hobby.

Humorous Game titles

In a recent fit of boredom, a freiend and i wondered: If someone only heard the title of a game – what would they think certain games were about?

Counter Strike: Take on the role of several CEO’s throughout history, and use bribery, persuasion, threats and violence to win back the workforce without giving in to their demands.

Half Life: Simple Puzzle game, the player has to guess the rate of decay of a given radioactive substace. Then simply wait anywhere from 10-4000 years to see if they were right!

Call of Duty: Frantic Multiplayer competition. Using your voip headseat you must shout ‘DUUTYYYY!’ louder than everyone else!

Mario 64: Will you still need him, will you still feed him (mushrooms) now that he is grey haired, incapable of jumping, and needs to get up three times a night to go to the toilet?

(Anyone who thinks my photoshop efforts are a naff version of the b3ta weekly questions is a delusional liar)