Condensed History The Hundered Years War

I was reading about the hundred years war today because I relised how little I know about it and how historian types are always banging on about it. So to save you the bother I condensed it down for you here:
1337:

Edward III (England) Hai fellow French doods. you noes how ur royal line is ded? I am totly teh king of England & France now too!  kthx
Philip uhms… nowai: I is king. war ahoy!
Edward III lol look at the year
Philip lol

France Get England!!!
england Noooooooo. Get France!
France Nooooooo.

1360:

England truce?
France k

1369:

Charles V (France) Edward
Edward III ?
Charles V how come you didn’t observe that truce you negociated?
Edward III wut?
Charles V attack!
England

1377:

Edward III wups- ahm ded

1389:

France Not much warring going on doods… tbh we’re not too sure who’s in charge in France – can u halp? u can has this land u wanted
England noes. Scotland is giving us grief, and we’re not sure who’s in charge here either lol!

1415:

Henry V (england) k guys turns out i’m in charge
France yay! halps?
England nowai! Attack!

(battle of Agincort – France fail)

France

1420:

Charles VI ‘The Mad’ (france) Henry, I reckon ur kids should get the French throne, mine all suck donkey balls
Henry V sweet.
Random Scottish army attack!
English army piss

1422:

Henry V onoez I’m ded
England woop! Henry VI – ur king! how do you feel?
Henry VI I’m only 8 months old and don’t know how to talk to you yet
England lol o yeah. Well at least he’s in charge of France now. Phew! war over ^^ k lets all go home & have a lovely snooze to celebrate
France wut? nowai!
England drat! and we would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you pesky French
France lol

1429:

joan-of-arc I had a chat with god, turns out I’m great – and we reckon i can kick ass
France Go for it. break the seige at orleans then
England arr! we lose
France Nice one!
Charles VII (France) yay! I get to be king now
john Talbot (England) we’s gonna win still. sok!!! kapow!!!
France Quit it!

1453:

(Battle of Formigny & Castillon – England Fail)

England fine ok

Next week: How would elmo from sesame street summarise the rise of communism in Russia in under 100 words?