Spiderman III (possible spoiler)

Item 12: See a new film every week for a year

This week - Spiderman III.
I enjoyed this film almost exactly as much as the others in this franchise. Quite a lot. It had a jumbolarge budget and it shows - there sure are some massive stunts and awesome effects. It also is full of emoness and In-your-facenosity thanks to: venom.

Venom Peter says fuck you Mary, I'm gonna have a spontaneous Jazzoff in this cafe with this beautiful acquintance right in front of you. That will teach you for having spontaneous kitchen dances with my best friend / come nemesis / come saviour of the day

Score: 4 Rick points

Warning: This review may contain strong language and made up words

Item 5: Grow my hair

The most passive and least interesting of my tasks. I can confirm that the growth of my hair proceeds as planned.

The longest bits are approximately 12.79 cm (at the front) and just over 2 cm at the back. Unfortunately as my hair is curly this is not an accuarate guage of my hair length - as it would appear to be roughly half that length.

tune in soon for more thrilling, hair related updates

Films

Item 12 - watch a new film every week for a year

The task to watch one new film every week for a year does not neccessarily involve writing a review of each one, and I cannot be entirely sure I have been strict with this one. Nevertheless I certaily have on average seen one new film each week since the last update - and to prove it here is mini critique of all 11 weeks worth of films:

• Saw - Whodunnit style torture horror where people kill themselves in humorous ways. Cary Elwes is in it, he is fatter than I remember him and he overacts pretty badly.
• Saw 2 - same as saw 1 but set in a house with more entertainingly brutal killings.
• Saw 3 - Final part, you learn more about Jigsaw who has now set up a warehouse for his victim to run around in; all 3 Saw films have twists at the end
• 300 - film documenting how 300 stubborn spartans got slaughtered by persians at the battle of Thermopylae
• Serenity - Space Western about the crew of the ship serenity who get into all kinds of scrapes. This is now one of my favourite sci-fi films
• Deuce Bigalow European Gigalow - Made me laugh but it is fairly abysmal
• Hot Fuzz - Very funny. I will try to review this without drawing reference to Shaun of the dead... Damn.
• Scary Movie 4 - Likeable chucklefest spoofing Saw 1 and 2, The grudge, the village, War of the Worlds and more. Also takes the piss out of Tom Cruise
• Mr Bean on holiday - Not quite sure why I watched this. Not bad - It fulfilled my expectations
• Talladega Knights - It has Will Ferrel in it which makes it better than ok. It's about a dim Nascar racer, and apparenly is meant to spoof 'all-American'sporting heroism.
• Night at the museum - The exhibits come to life. It has a happy ending but isn't that funny

Item 12: See a new film every week for a year

I am not going to explain what I need to do for this task because it is obvious.

If you have some problem understanding this then ask someone you know what it would mean for someone to see a new film every week for one year. If you still don't get it then write down what they said, and at the bottom write "Someone I know explained your fifth task and I found it difficult to understand!", sign and print your name and then hide it under your mattress. I will be around to collect them next week.

This week: Borat

I'll kick off this task with a brutal tour de-force of docu-hilarity courtesy of Saschkchshkchccha Baron Cohen.

Verdict: It was awesome.

Fuck Johnathan Ross - Reviews like this are all you need. Perhaps in future I will apply a little more patience into my critiques but until then you will have to be happy with one word reviews - or look elsewhere

Warning: this post may contain strong language.