Thursday 18 June 2009

Download 2009

I have been assigned some summer holiday homework to record what happened to me at the download festival, from which I have recently returned / recovered. So here it is! Mostly for the benefit of me, and possibly a couple of people who may be vaguely interested. It is completely unabridged, apart from the bits that my brain chemically abridged without my consent.

Friday: Everyone was in high spirits and looking forward to the weekend. We would all be sat beneath (at least) a tent and a bag each on the way up, and given our positive mood this would prove fairly amusing. However despite being a comparatively fast journey, as we would be arriving very late, it would still be taking over 4 hours. Here is a diagram demonstrating the logistical dilemma:


Having 10 odd kilograms on our cramped knees would soon loose its novelty value, I thought. So the cunning solution to consume beer soon presented itself. We travelled north into the night and the weather steadily worsened, and we steadily drunkened.

Arriving in the middle of the night had the benefit of having nobody else arriving so getting to the site was more relaxing, however there was also the downside that nobody else was arriving which meant we weren’t entirely sure on which way to go. This lead to about an extra hour of lost time wandering about in a car park in the rain, slightly tipsy with horrendous amounts of luggage tied to ourselves.

I made a map of how to get to the site should i go again and they adopt a similar layout:






Thursday (midnight): The site itself, thankfully, was much quieter than one might expect of a festival. Partly due to the rain, and partly as it had only been open for 12 hours, but in any case we made contact with some friends who had already arrived so we could all pitch together. From then until Friday our area filled with friends and acquaintances until it was unusually expansive little ‘love in’ given how busy the site quickly became. The next day we had a barbeque which was lovely aside from that we had NO FUCKING TOMATOE SAUCE. I anger quickly when deprived of condiments.

Friday: the first day of music had arrived! Up at about 7 for a delicious liquid breakfast, and after a short while took a stroll* down to the arena. The weather had become much finer, and it really stayed bloody sunny the whole weekend. We festival goers were enjoying it all in our droves:

download 2009 crowd

Once there I had a bit of an explore* of the various tents seeing a few interesting new bands I may be checking out more of, particularly sylosis. However for the most part I was having a wander*, or drinking on a hill watching such acts as Opeth, Limp Bizkit and Faith No More. Limb Bizkit were surprisingly entertaining. Fred invited one fan near the front to join him on stage and dance about with him, even singing some of one song (arguably better than Fred himself). The evening was a standard affair of heavy alcohol consumption. I remember taking a walk* through the shouting crowds and was seeing folks being carried, vomiting through the throng to the nearest bush, and passing grimy cubicle blocks that already reeked of excrement and I wondered: This might be a little bit what hell is like. But I was drunk, and had become lost so found the whole experience quite amusing in a “well, it’s all a part of the rich tapestry of life” kind of a way you may get when you cease to care about things.

Saturday: Started out fairly quietly with a few pints at dawn, then once again off to the metal. Very happy to see static x who did an excellent set, and devil driver who once again (apparently) attempted to break the record for the world’s largest mosh pit. Here is a video of their attempt.

I didn’t go down to join in, and looked like a wise decision as a friend who did go in for it later came back with a cracked rib, but a part of me wished I had. After this there was an extended ‘vague time’ of which I remember little. However I lost my t-shirt I had been instructed not forget to bring on pain of death. This was during my time crushed to the front row of the prodigy (who I think I enjoyed immensely). Here is a picture from earlier happily sporting the garment in a very heterosexual way:

humor thsirts

Obviously I was a little upset by my careless loss, but this was not captured at the time. Here is a picture of someone else we were with looking upset on my behalf (possibly):





Sunday: was comparatively quiet. Actually that is a lie, everyone was still hitting the booze hard. It had been dubbed ‘whiskey sunday’ so proceeded with most of us drinking copious amounts of whiskey to chase our beer. As the day became more blurry, it seemed that every time someone announced “WHISKEY SUNDAY!!!” (and later: “WHISKEY MONDAY!!!”) someone would produce a bottle of whiskey or bourbon and force everyone to chug some. Quite a lazy drinking game perhaps, but still served to unite and intoxicate all involved. I was highly anticipating Dream Theater and Clutch, and they both certainly delivered the goods. Def Leppard headlined and I think they were pretty good, although I can’t be entirely certain.

The drive back was much more relaxed as we had eaten and drunk most of our luggage (the edible parts I mean!) so there was much random reminiscences, falling asleep and complaining of feeling like death. But we were all very happy about how well the weekend had turned out.

download 2009 stage

* Drunken stagger

Tuesday 2 June 2009

Obama Facts

I keep finding sites in my cyber travels that inform me of various facts about Mr Barack Obama. Well given the matter some extensive research I am now able to offer you, the streetwise reader with this (abridged) list of 10 Obama facts that are 100% OF FACT

all the FACTS are definitely guaranteed, and will make you the life and soul of any party. As long as the people you tell them to are particularly dim, or are from Bristol or something.

1. Obama’s most prize possession is his signed Christopher Eccleston photograph, which he keeps under his pillow every night

2. Obama’s favourite band is Iron Maiden, he owns all of their albums

3. Obama boasts a collection of 209 Doctor Who figurines, all of Christopher Eccleston. His obsession with Eccleston stretches to having posters in the Oval office of 28 days later and Shallow Grave; in which Eccelston boasts lead roles.

4. To date Obama’s greatest achievement since gaining office is having introduced America’s only website: Red hot XXX Barack action. He is known to be pleased with the alliteration in the name

5. Barack Obama is a huge fan of the Star Wars franchise and hopes to retire to Endor and become an ewok

6. Obama’s meteoric rise in politic is thanks to earning early fame with his number one smash: I walk the line. He spent many years battling drug abuse, and fighting depression from having neglected to save his brother from sawing himself in half in a lumber yard; an accident for which his father still hasn’t forgiven him.

7. Obama controversially prefers vanilla ice-cream over chocolate

8. Obama has tried most drugs, and claims that his favourite is cocaine because of its notorious ‘buzz’

9. When running for president Barack became extremely nervous and ate only Mexican food. He gained over 250 pounds (18 stone) due to his unhealthy eating habits. Once learning of his victory he immediately scheduled liposuction surgery to appear healthy to the press.

10. Obama is often mistakenly thought to come from Hawaii, in actuality he was the first man to settle the island after its discovery in 1984. He was born and raised in Tokyo

Thursday 7 May 2009

Wednesday 29 April 2009

Games Can Change Your Life

a lot of people might say that video games are a waste of time, and that little of value comes from them. Well aside from all the hopeful scientific research that claims that it increases awareness or some bollocks, I think occasionally it does have a very real impact on your life. Well one did for me.

for example when I saw the game guitar hero, I vowed that I would never spend time mastering a game like that. The reason being that I have been on and off playing guitar for a number of years, and would feel better playing the real guitar instead!

One hung-over Saturday morning however, my housemate buys the game… and predictably I play it, and get a little hooked. I even got to a respectable standard on a few songs.

Here is me playing raining blood by Slayer:

But one day I casted it aside! no more! I thought, purchased a new guitar* and began to practice.

Here is a picture of me practicing:

I feel much better about it. But recently wondered why a desire to not want to waste time mastering a game, but do it for real was only limited to guitar hero?

I have played a lot of GTA. perhaps I should have stopped wasting my time and take my criminal ways to the streets! After all you start off with less money in that game than I have now… What about counter strike? I think maybe I should join up with some terrorists as a part of my new Grand Theft Auto style lifestyle.

Obviously I don’t get do-overs, saves and things like that, but then I have already had a lot of practice at the games so I wont need them, right?

If there are no more posts on this blog you can rest assured that I have finally realised my dream of forcing fantasy into reality.

* Every time I had been poor up until now my guitar had been turned into food with the cunning use of ebay





Tuesday 28 April 2009

Thug Mask Prank

Some things make you chuckle and simultaneously crap your pants

Recently sat in the office minding my own business, looking at some porn work when some wierd looking guy marches in saying they have a delivery for someone.

When that person is identified he marches over and throws the box in their face, shouting and being generally abusive. This person gets out of his chair and is backing away with a small wet patch appearing between their legs… considering writing about it in their blog later… I imagine… err – obviously it wasn’t me… LOL! I’m far too tough to cower…

anyway:

Turns out he was wearing a mask, the dude used to work with the company. A hilarious prank!!
Laughter and blushes ensue.

Here is a similar one, v funny:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A3OmtaZrV0