47. Hanoi

And so I was headed to the last city of my solo trek: Hanoi.

My tactic to eat only cakes to avoid tummy problems going to Hanoi backfired massively. For the whole 10 hour trip I suffered stomach cramps, intense pain and trapped wind. I was once again crammed into another plastic bed seat that was too small for me. I attempted to angle myself in such a way that I could fart without anyone noticing - but that had mixed success. My fellow travellers shot some pretty unsavoury glances my way.
This whole thing was quite ironic since I hadn’t had any issues for the entire trip, and now, one time I did, it was as a result of actively trying to be careful.

However for better or for worse, we arrived in the city and disembarked in a cloud of faintly green air.

Hanoi was a big, clean, modern city which I wandered around a little. I spent the last of my small saving on some souvenirs, and felt sad about the impending end to my jaunt. The weather matched my mood somewhat. There was a perennial blanket of heavy cloud over the city, occasionally breaking out into patches of chilly rain.

I had just enough money to fund 2 excursions.

City tour

The first was a tour around the tomb of Ho Chi Minh. At this point I was bedraggled, skint and road weary. My tour-mates in contrast were affluent holidaying Americans. I felt very much like the odd one out. It rained the whole day. Two of the old folks I was with didn’t even want to get off the bus when we stopped.

Halong bay

Hanoi was a good staging point for tours of the famous Halong bay. I booked myself on a 2 day cruise as the last trip on my travels. In short: it was stunning.
Again, it was somewhat cloudy, but this made the little islands of the bay seem quite cool and mysterious.

It was 2 days & 1 night on the boat. Unlike the city tour my fellow cruisers were a younger bunch. For the night stop we moored up alongside another cruise boat. There was a buffet put on and we were provided with plenty of booze and a karaoke rig. I didn’t want a repeat of the Bohemian Rhapsody incident, so instead a few of us decided to head out onto the deck and chatted with some cruisers on the other boat.
They seemed friendly so we clambered over there to socialise. One of the “other boat people” was a girl who said her boyfriend had paid for her to go on a world trip for several months. I remember talking to her at length but other than the fact that she had just started a world tour I don’t really remember what we chatted about. I think I probably was moaning about having return to England because when I woke up the next day I found her in my bed, so can only assume she wanted to provide some comfort. I don't think anything happened though, we were both fully still clothed.

And  before I knew it I was in a taxi headed to the airport, my heart filled with a strange dread. However at the same time I was happy I'd made it to the end of my trip, and I was looking forward to seeing my friends and family again. 

46. Hue

So the night out in Hue commenced. Tam met me at my hotel and we headed out to meet up with his friends. It was a good laugh, we ate some good food and wandered around a few places to drink. The night wore on and eventually we ended up in a karaoke bar.

My host and his friends were seasoned karaoke goers, so were quick to get involved and bang out a few pop hits.

This is the best shot I could manage in my drunken state

When It was my turn, I had to spend a good few minutes leafing through the giant ring binder filled with reams and reams of songs from across the globe listed in tiny writing. It was a job to find a song that was actually in English - let alone a song I actually knew. I settled on Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. It was a stupid choice in hindsight. It was nothing like what we’d been hearing so far. I forgot that it’s bloody long and a little unusual as pop songs go. None of them knew it either, so they sat in confusion whilst their new English friend badly attempted to sing an avant garde prog rock suite.
Eventually I finished, and normal service was resumed when Tam smashed out another Vietnamese pop belter. I decided to win back favour with my new friends by going to fetch drinks for everyone - but only managed to get lost and ended up wandering about for ages in the garage under the building.

On the final day I had a self guided walking tour of Hue. Historically the town used to be where the emperor lived, and still boasts a huge imperial city grounds and nearby citadel you can visit. They are absolutely incredible and well worth it.

The next day I’d be headed to my Final stop: Hanoi so I decided that I should get something “safe” to eat. At this point I really wanted to avoid any digestion based troubles since I’d be on a long bus trip to Hanoi, and not long after that: a mammoth flight back to England. As such on the way back from the citadel (after some extensive wandering and searching) I found a normal looking shop and picked up a box of prepackaged “twinky” style cakes which I figured wouldn’t trouble my innards.

45. Hoi An

It was a real struggle finding a coach for my onward trip. I was attempting to be frugal, however it was approaching Chinese new year so lots of people intended to travel and see family / friends so lots of tickets had sold out. It meant I had a fun afternoon wandering around numerous travel agents to find a bus ticket that was not extortionate.

Eventually I managed to buy one, and set off for the next stop: Hoi An. It was a beautiful town. Lots of waterfront areas, flowers everywhere and quaint streets with little coloured lanterns criss crossing above them.

From there I headed to Hue.

As we pulled into the town I did the same thing I did in the last two towns. Disembarked to find any hotel reps that might be there to haggle with. There were dutifully a couple of reps there, so listened to their offers. I accepted one and we headed off. On our way I got chatting to the driver, Tam. He asked me what my plans were for the new year celebrations. I confessed that I didn’t have any plans at all, really, being a foot loose and fancy free solo backpacker.
“But it’s Chinese new year!” I remember him exclaiming.
He didn’t seem able to accept my lack of plans - so invited me out that evening to celebrate with his friends. I was honoured and accepted.

44. Nah Trang Chopper Tour

The day before leaving Nah Trang I was approached by a man offering tours of the area by chopper bike. I decided quite quickly it sounded like fun, and said I was interested and asked how much it was. The guy had quite a rehearsed sales pitch though, so ploughed on with what he was saying, proceeding to produce a laminated booklet with lots of pictures of previous customers sat on his bike with big cheesy grins. I patiently scrutinised each picture, nodding and making interested noises as he leafed through.
We eventually agreed on a price and he hurried off to grab his bike.

He quickly returned on a large Harley, which was pretty impressive. He handed me a hard hat to wear and we set off. We rode as far as his house.
He hopped off and went inside, emerging with 2 bin liners full of clothes. He explained that this would be a charity donation to some villagers we were going to visit, and dumped them in front of me to hang on to.

We headed off to our first stop to deliver the clothes. It was about a twenty minute ride - and not the greatest start to the trip. I had to hold on to the bags but still keep myself on the bike, which I just about managed through tactical use of buttock muscles. When we got there we gave them the clothes bags. They eagerly rummaged through - picking out various garments. I suppose it was payment of sorts because we were then allowed to have a look around the village and the guide told me about their lifestyles and the various wicker creations they made there.

It was a great tour, and my guide was fantastic. He took me to various other interesting spots like scenic points in the countryside or workshops where they made incense, noodles and mats. I think my favourite place was a little local eatery in the middle of nowhere that my guide liked going to. I have to say it was easily the best bowl of Pho I’d ever had.